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decision

The migraines keep on haunting me till I am really in distress. Tried to rest, not even surf on my PB but still, hurts me so bad. The feeling of banging my head against the walls is so strong.

I took a nap between 3pm-5pm. Seth woke up from his at quarter to 5. Mom carried him in to my room and just left him there, went back to her cooking. I have no idea what got into Seth, he was crying for his grandma, and I was really tired and hot. Room was like a sauna even with the fan on. Can imagine the frustration I have. I calmly tell him, that grandma's cooking and will come in to the room after she's done. He simply refuse to stop! From calmness, to impatience, I asked him to stop his nonsense. He cried even more, to the stage of catching his breath. Gosh!! So, end up, with the acute migraine, and the anger in me, I get him out of the room. With him still sobbing, my mom scolded me for not taking care of Seth, and told him that no point in sticking to me so closely, since I am so irresponsible. GREAT! So, I need the breather and get out of the house, (to show my irresponsibility then). HIAZ!

I just need to sort the thoughts out. Maybe I should be really thinking hard where is my life heading to. I find that I have been wasting time on useless things, eg. watching TV, procrastinating lots.... munching... practically turning into a couch potatoes. Probably I should push myself even harder. Should I continue to work for the remaining 3 months and then go for my delivery and maternity? Should I this or should I that...
too much questions in my mind, and it's only myself and God's know how should I decide. I am coward in not wanting to decide, especially major. I am lousy in coming up with final decision. Maybe in my life, the decisions I finalised, always somehow, end up with regrets... tell me what should I do??

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