Ok, this is gonna be a vent post. Didn't have a good day actually. Woke up in the morning mom goes like this,
Mom: "Soi Khim's niece who quitted her high pay job to look after her baby, now got a new job liao. She can get job so fast!"
Moi: ........
Mom: "I just don't understand why people can find job so easily, you like so difficult to get a job. See you, always on computer, but no job interview no job!"
Moi: ..........
Moi: "Ya, I do have something coming up! But the job requires me to work late, if you are ok that I always work late, I take up the job lor! Can you handle my son then?"
Mom: "If you don't breastfeed, it'll be easier to look after your son. Just mix cow's milk with hot water then can feed your son liao. With breast feeding, still need to warm up milk and by the time milk is ready, your son cries till the cows come home."
Moi: "It's just a matter of getting use to lar! ........."
Damn sick lei! I mean it's been 8 months liao that BB Seth is on TBF and now mom gave me this comments? I really don't know the relevant of it all. I just feel that I am such a loser that I always can't provide. But to have her always nag at me for not getting a job, that's really very irritable. My mood was totally dampened. She can never feel that I am competent in any sense and needs to constantly compare me with others. Olive Tree picked me up at 10.30am to send me to get my pay check from BJG. I brought BB Seth along, thinking if I left him at home and go out, mom gonna nag me again.
Told Olive Tree the account and he said not to rush in getting the job. I told him at most I get the Customer Service Manager interview lor. Work late also like that. He seems pretty oblivious to what I want. So I black faced at him again. Hiaz. I was in a fit of anger. I refused to comms any further. I smsed people, I dropped email to asked about the previous BD position, I was hard up. So hard up.
But nonetheless, I have to fall back on someone. It's His Grace. That makes me think that I should try to empathize my mom's situation, her thinking, her needs. I should not be angry at Olive Tree. I have Jesus to lean on and seek. OF course to seek His Kingdom first and all things will be added and work out for the good of us. How can I ever forget His promises. Isn't it? I am always giving thanks that the Holy Spirit is leading me. It's the little things or the big things that shows me the love Jesus has for me that is comforting, that is always selfless and showing me the light.
I am tired, I need sleep. I shall let the bad episode end and forget. I'll emerge a better person and have a better day tomorrow. :D
Mom: "Soi Khim's niece who quitted her high pay job to look after her baby, now got a new job liao. She can get job so fast!"
Moi: ........
Mom: "I just don't understand why people can find job so easily, you like so difficult to get a job. See you, always on computer, but no job interview no job!"
Moi: ..........
Moi: "Ya, I do have something coming up! But the job requires me to work late, if you are ok that I always work late, I take up the job lor! Can you handle my son then?"
Mom: "If you don't breastfeed, it'll be easier to look after your son. Just mix cow's milk with hot water then can feed your son liao. With breast feeding, still need to warm up milk and by the time milk is ready, your son cries till the cows come home."
Moi: "It's just a matter of getting use to lar! ........."
Damn sick lei! I mean it's been 8 months liao that BB Seth is on TBF and now mom gave me this comments? I really don't know the relevant of it all. I just feel that I am such a loser that I always can't provide. But to have her always nag at me for not getting a job, that's really very irritable. My mood was totally dampened. She can never feel that I am competent in any sense and needs to constantly compare me with others. Olive Tree picked me up at 10.30am to send me to get my pay check from BJG. I brought BB Seth along, thinking if I left him at home and go out, mom gonna nag me again.
Told Olive Tree the account and he said not to rush in getting the job. I told him at most I get the Customer Service Manager interview lor. Work late also like that. He seems pretty oblivious to what I want. So I black faced at him again. Hiaz. I was in a fit of anger. I refused to comms any further. I smsed people, I dropped email to asked about the previous BD position, I was hard up. So hard up.
But nonetheless, I have to fall back on someone. It's His Grace. That makes me think that I should try to empathize my mom's situation, her thinking, her needs. I should not be angry at Olive Tree. I have Jesus to lean on and seek. OF course to seek His Kingdom first and all things will be added and work out for the good of us. How can I ever forget His promises. Isn't it? I am always giving thanks that the Holy Spirit is leading me. It's the little things or the big things that shows me the love Jesus has for me that is comforting, that is always selfless and showing me the light.
I am tired, I need sleep. I shall let the bad episode end and forget. I'll emerge a better person and have a better day tomorrow. :D
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